Confessions of a Former Human Doing, and what I wished my younger self would have known

6 months after I was married, I opened a little eatery in a rural town in Oregon.  

But what started as a dream come true gradually became a nightmare.  

WHY? Because I allowed myself to wear too many hats, to respond to too many needs and my daily chant became... Are you running with me, Jesus...? 

The first ten years were more of a joy, integrating family into the day-to-day,  cafe and gift shop.  But the next 10 years gradually turned me into a human doing.   What had started as a pleasant coffee shop where I ministered to folks one-on-one, grew into a 70-seat breakfast lunch, and dinner and catering establishment where I was pulled every which way.

I loved doing "edible art" in my catering, but long hours, a strained marriage, and a son who had 27 operations to rebuild his esophagus took a toll.  

My wake-up call was one day, I realized that I had not heard the birds sing for 10 years.   

Due to stress I did have a nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized for a week.

The good news is that God restored me gradually and thoroughly by rekindling my Love of creativity and long quiet times with Him and being  in nature and taking retreats.

The Lord used many tools of creativity to transform me and now I’m passionate about continuing in that and sharing the joy and healing of creativity with others.

• Some wisdom, I would like to pass on to younger women, which I dearly wish I would have known 30 years ago.:

• "Impression without Expression leads to Depression" -what that means is any feeling you are having, tough ones, it's important to find a way to express.  

I highly recommend journaling. I have 40 years of them archived.

Creativity, Walking, Sharing with a good friend...Writing two-way letters to God are all great ways to Express yourself.

• "Take time for yourself to Fill your Well" and Remember -"Every need is not a Call"

I have learned you cannot give, what you don't have. You can't give shalom if you haven't experienced shalom. You can't encourage others if first you haven't been encouraged by God.  

Daily quiet time with the Lord is like Oxygen to me. I know there are different styles of spending time with God, but listening is so important. Allowing the Lord to love you so that you can love others. It's essential.  

• "Find a Creative Expression or Outlet that Gives you Joy"

In my current life,  in cooperation with my husband Tim, ( a second chance of healthy marital love) we have acted on our dream of turning our classic home into "Paxson House I Center for creative endeavors." 5 years ago we created a group art studio in our lower level that is currently residing in our converted garage. 

The Lord drew me to fluid art in two forms, because literally, I heard him say in my spirit:”  Flow Connie, Don’t Force, Flow”

Our current passion for fluid art is “marble art “which we learned when we were in Italy doing the traditional marble art paper but came home and adapted it to include marble art silk scarves.

www.paxsonhouse.com 

My most recent creative endeavor is publishing a book called: "Flourish and Fly with God- A Fun Transformational Toolbox for the Creative Believer, which you can access through www.constancemcdonald.com

• Last but not least: Find a Tribe of like-minded, hearted, spirited women with whom you can be yourself and who will encourage you.

• Surround yourself with people and things that make you Smile, Laugh, and Savor the Beauty that is all around you if you just stop and look and thank God for all His Gifts.